Tag: LGBT

Say his name: Dexter Pottinger

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DP3

Via Facebook: Dexter Pottinger

His name is Dexter Pottinger. He was a model, fashion designer, LGBT activist, photographer, makeup artist, the face of Jamaica Pride and judging from the multitude of condolences from people he’s touched, a brilliantly kind, creative and devoted human being. “Never apologize for being yourself”, he said, “they should apologize to you for asking you to be someone else”. He was murdered in his home last week in Jamaica. As a gay black man from the Caribbean, this hits uncomfortably close to home.

 

 

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World AIDS Day: Fuck Stigma

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red-ribbonIt’s the 28th anniversary of World AIDS Day. It’s an important day for the community- a day of remembrance for everyone we lost to the disease and a day when we should reach out to those affected and let them know we’re here for them and that we won’t stigmatize or pass judgement. This year’s campaign’s on point- has our knowledge and attitudes towards HIV changed with the times? Or is HIV Stigma on the increase? If you’ve used a gay dating app recently it’s pretty clear that stigma still exists and it’s right here in our own community.

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Interracial Dating.. Is it racial betrayal?

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BLMTOTension around race is extremely high right now pretty much everywhere. Especially with Uncle Donald edging for the Presidency like Claire Underwood and BLM gaining tremendous momentum in normally quaint cities like Toronto where the subject’s usually delicately avoided. You can’t deny it and will sooner or later have to assert your position on the issue. Especially if you’re black-how could you not? So am I wrong to question where I stand in the mix given my attraction to the opposite race and the thin line between fighting against racism and participating in it?

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Queer Black History: Patrick Kelly- Fashion in Perspective

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PKPKPatrick Kelly was a Mississippi born fashion aficionado who rose to fame in Paris in the 1980’s for his eccentric yet elegant women’s designs. His creations were worn by the likes of Princess Diana, Bette Davis, Grace Jones, Jane Seymour and Madonna to name a few. He was adored in the Paris fashion world and was the first American to be voted into elite Parisian fashion designers society Chambre Syndicale joining the likes of Yves Saint Laurent, Karl Lagerfeld and Christian Lacroix among others.

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Queer Black History

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Black History Month MQA

 

With all that’s happened to the Black Community lately, I’ve been feeling a void. A void for justice, for racial harmony, for more queer-positive role models of colour… From the Michael Brown murder to the proceeding Ferguson Riots and Black Lives Matter movement to the epic failure of the Academy Awards in their decision not to nominate more actors and directors of colour; it feels like the etchings of a new Civil Rights Movement. One in which not only minorities, women and the disabled have a voice but also the LGBT community- specifically our Transgendered brothers and sisters.

So my contribution to this new unified movement is to shine a light on some queer specific black brilliance. Lately way too much of my time has been spent feeling jilted about the outright racist bullshit that’s happened and continues to happen in our society. So this month I’ll be spotlighting black LGBT identified powerhouses that left a unique mark on the worlds of fashion, art, music, political activism and mainstream culture.

Stay tuned!

Racial Preferences

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Preference: “a greater liking for one alternative over another or others”

Racism: “the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races”

I stumbled across this video a few days ago and it’s been playing on my thoughts ever since. As a “black guy”, I can’t say how many times I’ve been slapped in the face with this. Both from potential dates and from friends. I never quite understood racism; far less racism in the LGBT community. But as far as this video goes, it raises some important questions. Is having a racial preference necessarily prejudice? And when does a preference move from genuine adoration to deliberate exclusion due to racial features?

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Out at Work

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With last week’s coming out declaration by Apple CEO Tim Cook finally settling in, I’ve started to reanalyze what it means for me to be out at work. I work for one of the “big five” banks in Canada in a non-influential role and I wonder if my openness about my sexuality has done anything to further the acceptance of LGBT’s in the workplace or whether it’s had any positive or negative impact to my current career.

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A Trans Encounter

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Image source: Huffington Post UK

Image source: Huffington Post UK

As I’ve rightly said before, dating is a maze of unknowns. I recently met a very attractive guy at a party where we shared a few chuckles and a few drinks and decided that we’d like to see each other again. Now anyone that knows me will tell you that I’m attracted to a certain type of man- usually the burly brooding bear type- and he was all of the above.

We chatted casually via text for a week before embarking on a first date. Our date consisted of the usual ice breaking banter and slowly threaded onto deeper more personal topics- like dating history and what, if anything, we were looking for. Then suddenly my charmingly handsome date dropped the “I’ve got something to tell you” bomb. I put on my best nothing phases me face and listened intently for what was to come.

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Relationship Baggage

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images (2)To say that relationships don’t come with a cart full of baggage that mostly has nothing to do with you is an understatement. Especially when that baggage is family. I was chatting with a friend who’s in a relationship with a guy that’s very close to his sister. My first thought was that this a good sign. But after getting several friend in need calls, I have to reconsider. Does closeness to family indicate that you’ve snagged a good man? Or does it simply say that your man isn’t as independent as he should be?

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