Tension around race is extremely high right now pretty much everywhere. Especially with Uncle Donald edging for the Presidency like Claire Underwood and BLM gaining tremendous momentum in normally quaint cities like Toronto where the subject’s usually delicately avoided. You can’t deny it and will sooner or later have to assert your position on the issue. Especially if you’re black-how could you not? So am I wrong to question where I stand in the mix given my attraction to the opposite race and the thin line between fighting against racism and participating in it?

Example: a once close friend challenged me to think of the opposite race as the instant enemy. To think that every wrong thing that happened during any interaction with the opposite race was racially motivated. This felt totally fucked because while I’m painfully aware of the role race played in places like Ferguson and continues to play today, it was never always about race to me. Or I chose to look at it that way at least. Which is why it was never a question of is it wrong to see/be with a white guy for whatever.  But according to my ‘friend’ this was a major case of internalized racism. I was torn: like being un-exclusively open to hooking up with/dating/whatever with a white guy meant that I was in someway dissing my own race or ignoring the struggle of black people i.e. my struggle.

But on the other hand I’ve had some messy white men try to get at me simply because of my blackness. Or what they assume comes with it (BBC Chasers). Yet it still didn’t feel intrinsically ‘right’ to allow the ignorance of a few bitches who lack the knowledge of how to properly express their desires to taint my view of everyone else. It felt like hate-storing. And isn’t hate is one of key drivers of racism/inequality? In no way am I saying that we shouldn’t be starting conversations or shouldn’t take affirmative action to fix the situation. It just feels pointless to ‘fight fire with fire’ in this situation. And now that I’ve done my own digging I’ve realized that my friend is just completely wrong and disconnected with what the BLM movement is actually about.

Having the expectation that taking a stand/showing support for black lives means alienating/rejecting someone cause of their race is  just fucked up, counterproductive and promotes ignorance. Don’t buy into hate/misguided messages. Love knows no race or gender.