So we’ve all heard the adage “the best indicator of future choices is past decisions”, or something like that? I always thought it was just another thing people say as a scare tactic.. Like if you whack it too much you’ll go blind. But I’ve just come to realize that it’s sorta true. Not the whacking part mind you; it’s related to he most recent “situation” I’ve landed myself in. And it has to do with guys and the patterns we form for the “type” of guy we think we want.
Preference: “a greater liking for one alternative over another or others”
Racism: “the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races”
I stumbled across this video a few days ago and it’s been playing on my thoughts ever since. As a “black guy”, I can’t say how many times I’ve been slapped in the face with this. Both from potential dates and from friends. I never quite understood racism; far less racism in the LGBT community. But as far as this video goes, it raises some important questions. Is having a racial preference necessarily prejudice? And when does a preference move from genuine adoration to deliberate exclusion due to racial features?
To say that relationships don’t come with a cart full of baggage that mostly has nothing to do with you is an understatement. Especially when that baggage is family. I was chatting with a friend who’s in a relationship with a guy that’s very close to his sister. My first thought was that this a good sign. But after getting several friend in need calls, I have to reconsider. Does closeness to family indicate that you’ve snagged a good man? Or does it simply say that your man isn’t as independent as he should be?
I attended a group discussion recently about beauty and image. The session was for gay men of all ages, however the majority of attendants were between 20- 35. A series of 6 questions were asked all focusing on the concepts of inner and outer beauty. The responses were shocking to say the least. Turns out that inner beauty is no longer an attractive trait. Most of the guys preferred to date someone who was physically attractive with no inner beauty than to date someone who was ‘ordinary’ looking with a beautiful inner personality… Superficial much??