5 gay friends you just don’t need

10846407_10154950734695191_4901211911036804349_nFriends are important. So you wanna be selective in who you choose to let into your inner sanctum. But we get lazy sometimes and end up settling for friendships that aren’t that… special.  Cause like any relationship, friendships are hard fucking work.. Right? Though as you grow into yourself, it gets super easy to spot the flakes.

So here’s some flakes you might wanna avoid: 

5. That friend that always ditches you… for cock.

I get it. You wanna get laid. So do I. Doesn’t mean that the one night I get to see you without the rest of the gang for some face time I’ll jump ship for man meat. It’s almost like this friend is blatantly telling you you’re nothing but a space filler until something worthwhile pops up. It’s rude, selfish and a flat out heel to the face. Seriously, ditch this bitch. Like now. dickpig1

4. The Competitor

Their goal in life is to one-up you. Doesn’t matter what you thought you did that was so great, they’ve done it better.Or more lavishly.  Like that time I found the cutest blazer at H&M. Steal. Rocked the fuck out of it the first time I wore it. And everyone loved it. Except one. That one competing friend says “oh cute blazer! Saw it @ H&M.. but it looked cheap so decided not to get it..” In that split second between wanting to set it off, you realize there’s no point. If tearing me down is what you need to feel good about yourself…

Yeezy gif

3. The Sour Puss

Yes, we all have at least one of  these.. It’s that friend where even if  unicorns were shitting rainbows in the sky, they’ll find a way to cast a cloud. Always. Seriously- go see a therapist. Yeah I’m here for you and I’ll do my best to be supportive. But if you’re always in need of support for the same ole thing. You might need more than my bleeding ear. I guess this friend isn’t that threatening. Once you don’t allow the negative energy to swallow you..

hey girl everthing will be okay

2. The Borderline Racist

Sigh, this struggle is TOO real. I mean, I get that you wanna be “culturally relevant” and all that. And I get that you love RuPaul’s Drag Race. But talking to me they way you think black people talk to each other will get you decked.. And starting your back alley hook-up tale with “some black guys” isn’t a great place to start either. Let’s just appreciate our differences and leave it there. Just do you, cool?

your racist

1.Anyone that doesn’t make you feel like the rockstar you are

Say a great big BYE to all the naysayers in your life: People who don’t support you and your dreams. People who don’t value and appreciate your uniqueness. People who fill you with self-doubt and criticisms. And anyone who doesn’t treat you with mutual respect. It’s 2015, we’ve got tons of ways to make friends. So don’t settle for basic bitches… Now go purge your friends lists.. 



One thought on “5 gay friends you just don’t need

  1. Harlon says:

    Great observations – and I couldn’t agree with you more – I purge my friend list on a regular basis – that and a high fibre diet and I’m as good as new. Peace, Harlon

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